


Home

by MysticWaters



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, mcyt
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Lots Of Sad, maybe? - Freeform, minor fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29362671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticWaters/pseuds/MysticWaters
Summary: Hey all! This is Mystic’s friend, you can call me KitKat. I’ll be posting a few fics I’ve written, just for fun, and you might see some more of me later on. So uh… here you go! Also- I wrote this entire thing during school, so if it’s very long and drawn out, that’s because I’m procrastinating on paying attention to my teachers.Also, I don’t ship any of the characters in this story. Please don’t ship minors. =] Have a nice day.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 87





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> Warning- this contains descriptions of panic attacks and some angst.

Ranboo was walking as quickly as he could without breaking into a full-on sprint, desperation leaking into his every step. He was so close, he was so close, he was  _ so close. _ He had been wary at first to see if footsteps were following him, but as his panic grew, all he wanted to do was find his panic room and be safe. All he really wanted was to be safe.

He didn’t want to attract too much attention, and for an 8’5 half enderman hybrid, he was doing pretty decently. Not a soul passed through the area, which was really the entire reason that he chose it as the spot for his panic room anyways. His hands shook as he plunged into the icy cold water, breathing an audible sigh of relief once he finally reached the room. The raining purple dust calmed him at first, letting a lazy sort of peace wash over the room, but the memories that the same obsidian triggered in him made his illusion of peace swiftly evaporate. 

He clenched his palms, trying to calm himself down again, giving shaky reassurances out loud. 

“You’re fine, you’re in the panic room now, nothing can hurt you. Just focus on your breathing, you’re safe here, it’ll be fine. This’ll pass in a couple of minutes, you know it will. Keep going and it’ll be over, it’ll be over-” 

“Hello again.”   
Ranboo inhaled sharply, pausing from his pacing to whirl around with widened, panicked eyes. Upon seeing no one there, he relaxed slightly, but kept his fingers coiling around each other nervously. “H-hi Dream. Or- myself… hello.”

Dream’s voice chuckled softly. “I hope you didn’t miss me.”

Ranboo squeezed his fingers together tighter, forcing his voice to stay steady. “Yeah, no. Not- not really. Do you… do I really have to do this every time? Can… I could just-”

The voice seemed to smile, a curve being carried with it. “No one’s going to help you, Ranboo. You’re on your own. The only thing you’ve got to keep you company is your own mind, how sad is that?”

“Well, I-” Ranboo’s jittery explanation was cut off.

“You don’t. You don’t have Tubbo or Tommy anymore, you don’t have Fundy, and you don’t have Phil or Techno. Don’t be an idiot. If you leave them, you’ll be happier.”

Ranboo whimpered slightly. He knew that he didn’t really have anyone anymore, but he thought Phil and Techno could be counted as friends… but every single time he came to his panic room, his own mind told him that they couldn’t be trusted, and it would be better if he just left them. Better to leave them before they leave you, right?

“Come on Ranboo, I’m the only one you need anyways. If you leave them, I’ll get loud enough so that you’re never lonely again, I promise. They’ll hurt you, but I am in your mind! I can’t hurt you. I’ll stick with you forever, we won’t ever separate-”

Ranboo clutched his head, tugging slightly on his hair. “No, no I don’t… I don’t want that. I don’t want you here in my head, I don’t want you to stay, I-” he swallowed and paused, searching for some way to articulate his jumbled thoughts. “I don’t… want you to stay.”

“But you do, Ranboo. You do. If you didn’t, if you didn’t want or need me, I wouldn’t be here. I  _ have _ to stay. I have to make sure you’re not getting too comfortable.”

Ranboo gasped for air, seeking refuge from his own thoughts. He felt himself getting lost, spiraling deeper. What’s the point in ignoring his own thoughts? 

This happened almost every time, this deep spiral, but sometimes they were longer than others. This seemed to be one of the long ones. It felt like he couldn’t escape, like he was miles away from clawing himself back up to the light. Dream’s voice was still talking to him, its soothing voice making claws pull at Ranboo’s skin.

“Please… don’t. I don’t… I don’t want-” Ranboo’s attempts to say something,  _ anything, _ that might get it to stop slipped away, trailing off with the rest of his voice. He gives in, resigning himself to the pounding of the words in his skull. He just hoped that it would subside soon. There was nothing else he could do-

“... Ranboo?”

A stutter in the cycle, a pause, and Ranboo’s thoughts halt with it. “D-Dream?” He chokes out, terror leaching into his voice. Please, please not this. He can’t deal with this, not after all the thoughts and voices and assurances and lies-

“Wh- Ranboo no. It’s Phil… you know me, don’t you? You do remember who I am…?”

His breath still quavering, Ranboo looks up. His sight stutters between mask and wings, bright limes or soothing evergreens. “Phil, Phil, Phil…” He mutters, trying to keep his thoughts straight. Dream’s voice has disappeared, but the rest of his thoughts continue to slash at his mind, eating their way through his logic and sense. “Phil… Phil?” 

After so much muddled thought and nonsense, something manages to break through to his memory. A hand extended to him from the rubble of everyone that he betrayed, someone who laughed and made him laugh, someone that he… that he called a friend. Was it really Phil? He started violently shaking his head, backing himself into a corner of his panic room. He didn’t know what was real anymore… 

Phil’s soft, upturned voice faded out of his hearing. Had he left? Had he left for good, abandoning Ranboo like everyone else? Had he seen what a state he was in and decided that he wasn’t worth the pity or the kindness- 

“Ranboo, hey, it’s just us. It’s Phil and Techno… I hope it’s okay that I brought him in. I didn’t leave, hey hey, no-”

Ranboo started crying. He came back? And- and Techno was with him… no he couldn’t let Techno see him like this. Techno would hate him, he would kick him out… 

But then he felt a hand on his arm. It was huge compared to his thin, gangly limbs, and the cold of the person’s palm made Ranboo recoil slightly, blinking rapidly. He raised his head slowly, tracing the hand back to the crouched pink figure in front of him. His body started to shake… it was too late. Techno had already seen him, Techno already knew how weak he was, he would be kicked out and have nowhere to go and no friends left- 

Ranboo’s thoughts kept whirling and whirling, picking up everything he had done wrong and everything that could and would go wrong in the future and how it was all his fault, but then, somehow through all the clouds of crowded voices, Ranboo felt them clear ever so slightly. He stopped focusing on anything else, just trying to calm himself and breathe normally, but he forgot how, and his breath was picking up. He would start gasping for air from the tight and enclosed room soon enough, he knew he would, and it wouldn’t stop for more than ten minutes. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t do this-

A voice cut into his panic. “Okay, come on. In for 3, hold for 5, out for 8. Follow my lead, you’re doing great. Again, ready? In for 3, hold for 5, out for 8.” And somehow… Ranboo was able to listen. He clung to the voice, letting it trace his breath until his vision was clear of spots. His mind cleared as well, and he gladly let go.

Once he had regained the ability to inhale, he saw Phil’s shadow leaning over him, waiting and watching to make sure that he was okay. Ranboo gave a hesitant nod, hoping that they understood the message. He felt someone’s arms wrap gently around him, hauling him to his feet, and although he stumbled forward, he kept a stoic face, trying to pretend like his only two remaining friends hadn’t just witnessed him have a mental breakdown. Although his long legs were shaky, he was at least still able to use them. He slowly, slowly exited his panic room. Maybe if he left the dripping violet walls behind, he could leave behind what the future would hold for him… 

Ranboo plunged back into the icy water and emerged shortly after, two silent people following him. Taking a deep breath, he turned, looking at the two dripping wet figures, one with eyes that were laced with concern, the other with a withdrawn and uninterested portrait on his face. Wanting to waste no more time, Ranboo came out and said it. “Please, please don’t kick me out for this, I’m sorry, I’ll make sure you guys don’t have to see that stuff again, I-” 

They just stared at him, Phil starting to chuckle, cutting him off. 

“Wh- we’re not going to kick you out because you had a panic attack-” he stated, the edge of laughter still in his voice, although it was far from appropriate. Techno looked away, but shrugged in affirmation. “Yeah, whatever,” he said.

Phil walked towards Ranboo, gently putting his hand on his arm, and although Ranboo flinched, he didn’t pull away from him. “We’re not getting rid of you just yet” he said, a joke light on his tongue but the meaning heavy in his eyes.    
Ranboo let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding, and nodded slowly. Phil turned Ranboo around, his heavy, warm hand still rested on his arm. “It’s cold out, isn’t it?” He asked with a smile. “We should go back.” Ranboo nodded again, Phil’s hand still guiding his arm.

About halfway back, Ranboo muttered something under his breath, causing Phil to pause once again.    
“What was that, Ranboo?” 

“Oh, uh… I was just wondering what that… counting trick was. It’s… it helped, but I forgot-”

Phil smiled up at him, shrugging. “I dunno, wasn’t me. That was Techno. Ask him.”

Ranboo stared at Phil in shock, turning to stare at Techno’s slowly retreating figure across the snow and towards his home. “Oh…” he whispered, remembering Techno’s hand where Phil’s was just moments ago. “That’s… huh. Okay. Maybe I will ask him… later.” 

With a grin, Phil nodded in approval, and gently nudged Ranboo forward again.

“Alright, Come on kid, let’s get you home.”

Home… Ranboo liked the sound of that.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ya'll it's mystic! I mentioned to my friend that they could post on here and they said yes! so here ya go! Have some god tier writing


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